


Remember Who You Are

by ghostowo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Dark Past, Death, Depression, Fights, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I suck at tags I’m so sorry, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader goes through a lot of shit honestly, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:35:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24171409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostowo/pseuds/ghostowo
Summary: (Y/N) goes on a mission that potentially comes face to face with the people that killed their clan.. but what if something goes wrong? What will happen when they discover the truth?How will they manage to handle it and go through it? How will their friends and sensei help them?Read to find out~THERE WILL BE MULTIPLE CHAPTERS TO THIS
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Reader, Haruno Sakura/Reader, Hatake Kakashi & Reader, Hatake Kakashi/Reader, Hyuuga Neji/Reader, Nara Shikamaru/Reader, Tsunade (Naruto)/Reader, Uzumaki Naruto & Reader, Uzumaki Naruto/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. A Past and The Mission

**Author's Note:**

> hii! okay so this is my first real story thing i have ever wrote! please give me feedback and tell me what you think so far! there will be multiple chapters to this, so don’t worry if the first chapter is a little too short! I’m gonna try and post the second chapter asap :)

You have been going on missions with Kakashi sensei, Naruto and Sakura for a very long time. Ever since Sasuke left, you had came into the picture. You instantly connected with them and you finally felt what it was like to have a family, a some what normal family. You’ve always lived in the leaf village with your clan but at a young age your clan was wiped out by another enemy clan and you we’re the only one left alive. To this day you still don’t know what quite happened, you woke up that dreadful night with your home on fire burning around you; you tried to search for your parents but the house was too engulfed inflames for you to search the once home you had. 

So you ran and as you ran out of the burning home you looked around you and saw all your clans homes up in flames. You we’re yelling out names of the family you once had, but no one answered. All you heard was other homes in flames. The one thing that still sticks with you was seeing a black figure standing on top of one of the burning buildings, and it felt as if they we’re looking right through you but they disappeared as soon as you saw them. The team has known ever since they have meant you that you seek vegenace on whoever killed your clan. But luckily they have helped you out of that darkness, especially Kakashi sensei. He was the one that found you that night and saved you after all. Also to them, after what happened with Sasuke, they we’re _**determined**_ to help you see the light before you got as bad as Sasuke and they did. Your story is a lot like his, but your ending turned out differently. You’re also a lot like Naruto, except you have a devil sealed away in you, not a nine tailed fox. That is why master Jiraiya took you under his wing around the same time he did with Naruto, he helps you and has taught you almost the same things as Naruto, but you both received slightly different training. 

Today you woke up in your small apartment and got ready for the day. Your outfit was kinda like Kakashi’s because you also hid half of your face, but you didn’t have to cover one of your eyes. The **_only_** people that have ever seen your face was the 3rd hokage, Kakashi sensei, master Jiraiya and lady Tsunade. You’ve always looked up to Kakashi and Jiraiya as father figures; then Tsunade as a mother figure. They we’re the only people you trusted for a very long time after your clan had fallen, not that you don’t trust Naruto or Sakura by now, you just like to see them try to sneak a peak at your face and tease them for it; it always brings a smile to your face, you and Kakashi always laugh at them for trying! 

Once you got ready, you looked at yourself one more time in the mirror and headed out. As you we’re walking out of the building you saw Sakura and Kakashi sensei while Naruto was sitting with his arms crossed pouting. 

“Oh, (Y/N)! Finally you wake up! We have to go see grandma Tsunade about a new mission! This is supposed to be a big one!” Naruto beamed with smile

“Weren’t you just pouting because you wanted ramen?” Sakura looked down at Naruto “... _don’t remind me Sakura_..” Naruto spoke with his stomach growling 

“Naruto if you get up, after this mission I will treat you to ramen, _now let’s go_.” Kakashi said and started to head to lady Tsunade 

You, Sakura and Naruto quickly followed and was soon into her office. As you all walked in you saw master Jiraiya standing right beside lady Tsunade. You we’re surprised to say the least, and so was Naruto. But deep in you, you knew this must be serious just by the way he was standing.

“Master Jiraiya? What are you doing here? I thought you we’re out right now?” You spoke up slightly confused 

“Well, (Y/N) I was, but I actually just got back and its better if I was here right now... **_for this_**..” He spoke softly and looked at you

You, Sakura and Naruto exchanged looks and you spoke up once again

“ _Master Jiraiya, I don’t understand? Lady Tsunade whats going on-_ “ 

“ _(Y/N)_ ” Tsunade had cut you off and looked straight at you

“ ** _This next mission might involve the same people who wiped out your clan_** ”

You froze where you we’re standing, you haven’t thought about what had happened for a very long time so this had smacked you right in the face. _Everything drowned out around you, it felt like a black hole had sucked you in_. Your breathe hitched as you started to remember all of the _pain_ you felt and all of the _flashbacks_ from that night hit you full force. _Waking up in your small room with the walls burning around you and the house crumbling. Smoke filling the room, running out screaming for your mom and dad but getting no answers back. You can remember the **screams** and **pleading cries** you made as running out the burning house and seeing your other clans homes up in flames. **You suddenly felt frozen in time**_. Everyone in the room was looking at you and noticed your sudden change.

You felt someone put their hand on your shoulder and someone squeeze your hand

“ ** _(Y/N)_** ” They spoke up

You turned your head and saw it was Kakashi sensei, he saw the face you had on. It was pure sadness and shock. 

“ _You’re here with us. It’s okay_.” Sakura spoke softy 

You looked at her and looked down. You gave yourself a minute to calm down before speaking again. You took a deep breath and looked back at lady Tsunade and stepped forward with a straight face.

“ ** _Tell me the mission_**.” You spoke strongly

Naruto and Sakura we’re surprised with the change, but lady Tsunade was the first to speak.

“Lately other villages have been having fires, the last fire was two days ago in the hidden sand village... _Every fire wipes out almost the whole village, we think that they’re probably making their rounds to other villages_... Whoever these people are have gotten stronger than they we’re. Reports say that the way the ashes and fires we’re formed, it was from a _forbidden jitsu_ , and when I was looking through old files from your clans fire; the ashes we’re described the exact same way.” Tsunade said while shuffling through files on her desk and added

“ _After the fires, the ash is a red liquid. If it touches your skin it will burn you like acid. And it was the same way back then._ “ She paused and looked back up to you “ ** _(Y/N) are you prepared to go on this mission?_** ”

“ ** _Yes_**. I am stronger than what I was back then. _This time, I will find the bastard who did this! **They WILL pay for what they have done!**_ ” Your hands balled into fists, all you felt was rage. You we’re so overcome with rage you had started shaking.

“ _Before this mission starts I have one request lady Tsunade_ ” You spoke with anger 

“ _What is it?_ ” Everyone was looking at you intently waiting for you to speak 

“What I’m about to say might be for the better so please hear me out... let me do this mission alone. _Leave out the team, I have to do this **alone**!_”

The room fell silent. Everyone’s eyes on you.

“No. (Y/N) are you crazy?! Not happening! **_I forbid it!_** You forget this enemy clan could come after you and take you?! Did you forget how dangerous this is?! **_Did you forget ALL of the conversations we had about this?!_** This could be them! _This is a S-ranked mission and you think you could do this alone?! **That’s not happening!**_ ” Jiraiya spoke quickly and strictly 

You were still shaking with rage and slammed your fist on lady Tsunades desk, you’ve never been this angry and never once raised your voice with anyone before. Your devils cloak was coming through. Your kyuubi form was taking place. You looked up at Jiraiya with your eye color changing to bright red and horns started forming on the top of your head, this is what happens when the devils cloak comes through. Everyone in the room was slightly startled with what was happening, even lady Tsunade. You’d only ever do this when you we’re pushed too far and get overcome with emotions, it’s exactly like how Naruto gets, but you had slightly more control over it. 

“ _(Y/N) you calm down right now!_ ” Lady Tsunade yelled pointing at you

“ _Take it easy (Y/N)-_ “ Naruto added

“ _ **No I will not!** Master Jiraiya I understand this! But this is **MY** battle! **Not theirs! Not yours!** You don’t know what I saw that night, and what they did to my clan! **My home! My FAMILY!** And I couldn’t protect them! **I couldn’t protect any of them!** I will not let Naruto, Sakura or Kakashi sensei to come with me! I refuse to let **ANY** of you to come with me! **I can’t lose them! I can’t lose any of you, you’re the only family I have left and if any of you we’re to die or anyone in the village because of me I-**_ “ You we’re speaking so fast and trying so hard to be strong but your breath caught in your throat and broke down sobbing, your heart was breaking and you just stood there, and looked down letting your tears hit the floor

This is the first time in a _very_ long time you cried, you’re always so happy. This is your second lowest moment in your life and everyone who meant the world to you was watching you fall in front of them.

Kakashi came up and put his hand on your head and pulled you into a hug; you cried into his shoulder and listened to what he started to say

“ _(Y/N) what have me and Jiraiya always taught you?_ ” Kakashi spoke calmly

“ _That I-I am not alone!_ ”

“ _Yes_. **_Exactly_**. You have to always remember that even every great shinobi needs help and that teamwork is key. **_You can’t do everything in life alone._** This is not only your mission, it’s **_our_** mission. Don’t only put this on your shoulders, it’s on all of ours. **_We’re in this together. We’re a team. We protect each other._** ” Kakashi spoke up once more and held you there while you calmed down and patting your head comfortingly 

“Yeah (Y/N)! We’re gonna be there the whole time and if you think you’re going on a S-ranked mission without us by your side you’re crazy! We’re gonna help you get these guys! Every step of the way!” Naruto said smiling brightly making the air in the room feel more calming 

“We got your back (Y/N), don’t you forget it.” Sakura added with a smile 

“..thank you guys” you pulled away from Kakashi and wiped the rest of your tears away and you realized the cloak was gone

You felt a little bit of weight off your shoulders after the comforting words, but was still worried in the back of your mind

“Master Jiraiya... Lady Tsunade I am sorry for yelling you and getting that upset, I didn’t mean to, _I’m so sorry_ ”

“Hey, it’s okay kid. You didn’t mean anything by it! We know how upsetting this must be to you, but you have to remember not to let your emotions get the best of you. This also goes for you, Naruto-“ Jiraiya looked over to Naruto

“ ** _Waaa-?! I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING THIS TIME PERVY SAGE-_** “ Naruto pouted once more and everyone burst into laughter a little bit 

After that lady Tsunade also added in that team Guy and team Asuma was also joining us on this mission for extra support with how big this mission is. We we’re also told to report to the entrance at 5pm so we could start heading out as soon as possible. We would go over the game plan once more with lady Tsunade and master Jiraiya before we left. 

You all had parted ways to go home and pack up your gear and essentials. Before you left lady Tsunade’s office; she asked if she could tell team Guy and team Asuma your past and how you’re connected to this mission, you gave her full permission to do so. Asuma sensei and Guy sensei already know your past, but this was just to fill in the other team members that might not know. It hurt you, but knew this would be necessary. 

While you we’re packing you couldn’t help to start becoming nervous again... _**How** we’re you going to get through this? What if something **happens**? Will all of your friends look at you **differently** because of this? **What if someone dies and it’s all your fault?**_ If anything has to come to that you decided that you would be the one to die. No one else. You knew everyone was capable of taking care of themselves, but you’re determined to make sure everyone comes back alive and safe even if you don’t. _You’re going to protect them with your life. **This is... a promise.**_

[Time Skip]

Soon before you knew it, it was time to start making your way to the gate to head out. You made your way there in no time and you already saw some of the teams we’re already waiting. Guy sensei and Lee we’re talking about some extreme training while Tenten and Neji just shook their heads at them. Soon Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi sensei showed up and then followed Asuma sensei, Ino, Shikamaru and Choji showed up. You we’re standing alone at a distance from everyone, you have so much running through your mind right now it’s almost unbearable. You started to ask yourself if could do this, and started to doubt yourself. You looked down, wishing that this was just a horrible dream and hoping you would wake up soon but you knew it wasn’t.

Lady Tsunade and master Jiraiya arrived and was starting to talk about the main points of this mission and the details once more.

“We definitely got this, this is pretty cool going on missions again together, just like the old days, huh Kakashi?” Asuma sensei said cheerfully 

“Oh yeah those we’re definitely some good days, wait- _has anyone seen **(Y/N)**?_” Kakashi spoke urgently, everyone looked around but Shikamaru pointed you out first 

They all saw you standing a away and but they could see the sadness and worry upon your face. Naruto put his hand up and was about to yell out for you but Jiraiya was the one to speak first.

“ _Tsunade, go on ahead_.” 

Tsunade nodded and went back to explaining the mission. Jiraiya made his way over to you and put a hand on your shoulder.

“I know this is hard (Y/N), but you got this. Don’t forget who you are. _Everyone here supports you._ ” He said softly

“ ** _Master Jiraiya_** ” You turned and looked up at him. There was a small silence before you spoke up once more, you needed to say this now while you have the chance 

“ ** _if.. if something happens to me on this mission and I don’t make it back... Master Jiraiya I want you to know that what you’ve done for me throughout the years has meant the world to me and I wanna thank you for everythin-_** “

Jiraiya had cut you off immediately 

“ _ **Stop it right now**_. Don’t you **_dare_** start speaking that way. **_Don’t you ever._** You’re making it back, **_I know damn well you are._** ” 

He pulled you into a hug, you couldn’t help but start to cry. So many emotions were running through you right now. This isn’t like you to get like this, usually your so happy-go-lucky and positive, but ever since you found out about this mission earlier you felt like a train had hit you, and he knew that. Everyone did.

“ _Don’t you dare start giving up right now. Not now, not ever. **Don’t you dare start forgetting who you are (Y/N).**_ ” Jiraiya spoke reassuringly while still hugging you; all you did was nod and kept crying in his arms. You really didn’t mean to be this way, but you couldn’t help it.

“...thank you master Jiraiya, I’m sorry for crying..” You said with tears still streaming down your face

“It’s all okay kid, I know you’re gonna get through this.” Jiraiya spoke confidently with a smile. He held you a little tighter and started to pat your head comfortingly. 

Soon he started to hear everyone walking towards you guys. Jiraiya looked up and saw it was Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura with Tsunade walking besides them. Everyone else was following one step behind them. Jiraiya nodded for the ‘okay’ of them to come closer to you. You didn’t notice them because you we’re so focused on the hug you and master Jiraiya we’re having and also trying to stop crying. 

Everyone came closer in front of you both, but what caught your ear that finally made you notice everyone; was sniffingly like other people we’re crying. You turned your head and saw them standing in front of you both, which surprised you because you didn’t even notice! You felt everyone’s eyes on you and so you took that as it was time to go.

You looked up at master Jiraiya and he gave you a big smile and wiped away what was left of your tears. You gave him a soft thank you and smiled back. You finally pulled away from him and turned to face the team, what you didn’t expect was to see almost everyone with watery eyes! Sakura and Naruto quickly pulled you into a group hug which kinda caught you off guard, especially with what Naruto says next

“ _Don’t you ever speak that way ever again (Y/N)! Everyone is here to support you the whole way, especially us! You’re making it back here no matter what! **You hear me?!**_ ” Naruto looked right at your eyes and spoke sternly 

“ _(Y/N)... Don’t you see everyone here cares about you? You’re making it back alive, I promise!_ ” Sakura said and gave you a smile

“ _And as your team captain, **I’ll make sure of it.**_ ” Kakashi added 

“ _Naruto... Sakura.. Kakashi sensei.. **thank you..**_ ” you were shocked with what they said and that they heard what you said to master Jiraiya, but you gave them a big smile

You turned your head more and heard more sniffles and it was Ino!

She immediately joined in on the group hug and yelled

“ _We love you (Y/N)! Please never say those things again!_ ”

Then everyone else soon followed into a big group hug

“ _Yes indeed! (Y/N) you are so brave and I will strive to follow in your footsteps!_ ” Lee yelled with tears rushing down

“ _Get that stuff out of your head, coming home isn’t option, got it? Don’t be such a drag._ ” Shikamaru added which made you laugh

“ _You are so strong (Y/N)! Please never doubt yourself!_ ” Tenten spoke

“ _Don’t worry (Y/N), once we find these guys they’re finished!_ ” Choji said while eating chips

“ _Choji is right, with as big as a squad as this they will be finished in no time guaranteed._ ” Neji added

You looked around at everyone and it put a big smile on your face and started to feel more confident about this mission. You feel so loved and comforted knowing that they we’re going to be here with you. 

“Thank you so much guys, I feel a lot better and I promise to never talk like that again. _Thank you_.” 

Everyone still stayed in the group hug a little more while lady Tsunade talked with Guy sensei and Asuma sensei 

“Kakashi let me talk with you real quick over here before you guys go.” Jiraiya said while walking a little bit away so no one else could hear

Kakashi looked up and quickly followed and spoke 

“ _Is this about (Y/N)’s devil?_ ” Kakashi questioned 

“Yes. But it has only gotten _stronger_ , earlier when her cloak appeared it only proves it. Luckily the horns didn’t grow, because once they start to grow its **_over_**. Especially when they grow big enough to curl. **_Keep your eye on them this mission and tell me if anything happens when you come back._** ” Jiraiya said looking at Kakashi 

“ _Don’t worry_ , I’ll be with them the whole time. I also still have that paper that we use on Naruto when he gets out of control with the nine tails. **_And trust me, I will keep you updated if something does._** ”Kakashi spoke confidently and Jiraiya nodded 

“Kakashi sensei! Come on, it’s time to go!” Naruto yelled and waved to him to hurry 

“I’m coming, I’m coming, I know Naruto.” Kakashi sighed and Jiraiya only laughed and both started walking over

You on the other hand was standing and talking to you when lady Tsunade came up to and gave you a hug

“I am so proud of you. You’re going to do great.” She pulled back and looked at you with a smile 

“ _But if you **EVER** say things like that **EVER** again or so help me!-_“

“ ** _I KNOW IM SORRY NEVER AGAIN LADY TSUNADE I PROMISE UAAHH-_** “ You screamed with how scary she looked, jeez this woman could be terrifying!

“Good! You better not!” She smiled once more 

Soon after that everyone grouped up and made sure they had everything they needed one last time before leaving.

“Alright guys we should start heading out now before it gets dark.” Asuma sensei spoke

Everyone agreed and nodded 

“ _You ready (Y/N)?_ ” Kakashi looked over to you

You looked back towards lady Tsunade and master Jiraiya; they both we’re smiling at you and master Jiraiya gave you a reassuring nod

You looked back at Kakashi sensei 

“ ** _I’m ready Kakashi sensei!_** ” You smiled brightly at him

“Alright good _, lets start heading out everyone!_ ” Kakashi spoke once more

Soon after you all started walking and leaving the leaf village. You knew this mission was going to be one hell of a ride, but after all of the reassurance from everyone you feel more confident than before knowing you have them all here with you. This is a team and you all have each other’s back no matter what. **_Everyone will come back alive._**


	2. The Truth and Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) goes on a mission that potentially comes face to face with the people that killed their clan.. but what if something goes wrong? What will happen when they discover the truth?
> 
> How will they manage to handle it and go through it? How will their friends and sensei help them?
> 
> Read to find out~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER TWO! 
> 
> tell me what you think so far! and thank you so much for reading this, I truly appreciate it! Please have a good day or night and stay safe :)
> 
> chapter three will be out soon~

When you all left the village and making your guys way to where this enemy clan could possibly be, everyone decided to set up camp for the night. Kakashi sensei caught you up to speed on what lady Tsunade wanted everyone to do. Since the enemy just attacked the sand village, she had a hunch that they would attack the leaf next; she wanted the group to meet them in the middle before they could even make it to the leaf. Asuma sensei decided to set up a fire and everyone gathered around to start talking about a strategy.

Everyone agreed that each team would go off on their own in different directions to cover more ground just to see where they would potentially be coming from and that Guy sensei would pass out mics to each person to stay in contact incase one of the team finds the enemy clan. This was Shikamarus idea. You knew that Shikamaru was the best when it came to strategizing, but you we’re not for this plan at all. You know what these people are capable of, and to know that they’ve just gotten stronger over these years? It absolutely scares you. You had a horrible feeling that something was going to happen and you can’t help it. While everyone is sitting around the fire continuing their discussion about this plan, you felt your self sinking into a black hole again. You felt your mind racing.

“Uh (Y/N)... _(Y/N)_?” 

You looked up immediately and it was Shikamaru who snapped you out of your thoughts. Everyone was staring at you with a confused expression; you looked down at the log you we’re sitting on and realized your hand was gripping it so tight to the point it was breaking. 

“I’m going on a walk, I’ll be back.” You said quickly, as you stood up and turned around 

You went up and before you knew it you we’re jumping through the trees and once you knew you we’re a little bit away from everyone you saw a huge branch coming from one of the trees and decided to sit. You pulled your kneesto your chest and just looked up at the sky. You had a flashback of you and your parents sitting out in a field at night and you remember how your parents would tell you all about the stars and what they meant. _It was so peaceful_. You remember how they would tell you if there ever was a time where you felt alone, all you had to do was look up at the stars and they would be right there with you. Even though they died when you we’re very young, you missed them everyday. You wished you had one more hug from them. _One more laugh. One more I love you. One more stargazing. **One more goodbye**. _

“ _It’s a really lovely sky out tonight, isn’t it_?” 

The voice slightly startled you, but you turned your head and saw it was Kakashi sensei standing next to you. He looked down and gave you a soft smile then sat right next to you.

“What do you like about the night sky?” Kakashi looked to you speaking calmly 

You looked back up at the sky and spoke

“ _the stars_... i remember before my real parents had passed away, every weekend we would go to this open field a little bit out from the leaf.. i remember it had the most beautiful flowers and before night came, me and my mother would go around picking flowers and make beautiful flower crowns. Once night came, me, my mother and father would all put our flower crowns on and they would tell me all about the stars, and what they meant... they would always tell me no matter what I do, where I go in life, I could always look up at the sky and they would be here with me... _I know_ _I only had a short time with them, but I like to think they look down at me everywhere I go.._ ”

Kakashi only hummed and nodded

You looked over at him and turned your body so you we’re facing him. It’s time to tell him.

“Kakashi sensei?” 

“Yes?” He looked away from facing the night sky and looked over at you

“I know I promised I wouldn’t ever speak this way again, but please hear me out... I wanna thank you for saving me that night. I wanna thank you for taking me in and raising me. I wanna thank you for always believing in me and for always encouraging me. I wanna thank you for everything you taught me. I wanna thank you for accepting who I am. I don’t know where or who I would be if you didn’t save me that night. _Thank you for being the best dad to me throughout the years_. **_I love you Kakashi sensei!_** ” Tears we’re brought to your eyes and you couldn’t help yourself but to sit up and throw your arms around him and give Kakashi a huge hug

Kakashi was absolutely shocked. He was speechless, but he quickly got himself together and hugged you back. He is so happy that you feel this way, honestly he’s always looked after you like if you we’re his own and always saw you as his kid in the first place. He was always around for you, especially since that night. He remembers when he saw you surrounded by fire and burning homes and how he swooped in to save you. He remembers how scared you we’re; you clung to him immediately and would not let go. He stayed with you the whole time. For the aftermath when you we’re in hospital, you didn’t trust any of the staff and was easily frightened, he was the only one that you would talk to during that time and the **_only_** one that made you feel calm. He stayed with you the whole time in the hospital. Everyone thought it was very sweet that the only one you trusted was him, including the 3rd hokage. The 3rd had asked him to take you under his wing and he was also the one who told Kakashi about the devil that was sealed away in you by your clan; but that didn’t bother him and he agreed to take care of you without hesitation. _To see how much you have grown from the frightened child you once we’re to now makes him so proud_. 

“I love you too, kid. _I love you too_ ” Kakashi hugged you a little tighter and spoke once more

“You know, about tomorrow... I know you’re gonna be nervous but there’s nothing to be worried about, okay? Naruto, Sakura and I will be with you the whole time.” He looked to you as you pulled away from the hug and nodded 

“I know... I just want everyone to be safe.. I’m sorry for being like this-” 

“(Y/N) it’s okay. Everything will be okay. Everyone here understands why this is a hard time for you. _You have nothing to apologize about._ ” Kakashi spoke reassuringly, you nodded again and gave a small smile and you both stood up

“We better head back to where we set up camp, before I left Naruto was playing with the fire and burned Sakuras blanket.”

“Oh my god.. then we better hurry back, Naruto is a deadman and I wanna watch this go down!” You both laughed and both made your way back

When you two did Sakura was chasing after Naruto and eventually had him in a chokehold; everyone was either scared of Sakura or laughing at Naruto. You and Kakashi sensei had to split it up before Sakura killed him; Naruto gave up his blanket to give it to Sakura. After that everyone decided to get some sleep.

You we’re laying down in the grass looking up into sky once more before falling asleep. Soon morning came and the sun started to wake everyone up with chirping birds in the distance. Kakashi came over to you and slightly shook you to wake up, which you did. He did the same with Sakura and Naruto. Naruto wanted to keep sleeping but he got up eventually. 

Once when everyone was finally awake and ready; everyone huddled around to go over plans one more time while Guy sensei passed out mics to each person. Team Guy would be going north, Team Asuma would be going south and then Team Kakashi would be heading east. Once everyone had made sure that the mics we’re set up properly and everyone was on the right channel, all teams had split up and started to head to their locations to scout out for anyone coming from the sand village. 

While your passing through the trees with Kakashi sensei, Sakura and Naruto, you started to get in your head again. This your moment, your time for _vengeance_. This your time to show this enemy clan that what they did was a huge _mistake_. _You will make each of them pay with no hesitation, and make them feel all of the pain you did back then_. You started to have flashbacks of all of your family and friends you lost. All of their smiles you can _never_ get back or see again. Especially your mothers and fathers. All of that anger came rushing back to you and you felt your body changing. It all felt too much. Your eyes changing to a bright red, your teeth and nails becoming sharper. The devils form wanting to take place. But this wasn’t your cloak, you we’re holding that.

The team had noticed immediately. You we’re moving faster with out realizing it and going a head of Kakashi. 

“(Y/N), it’s going to be a while before we get to our spot. _You have to calm down_.” Kakashi spoke firmly while trying to catch up to you

“I know! But I just can’t! We’re so close! This time it’s going to be different... **_this time I’m going to get them and make them pay_**!” You seethed with anger and you broke a huge tree branch with the force you put on to it while making your way through the trees 

Naruto had caught up with you and spoke

“I know you’re angry (Y/N).. and I know this hurts, but this is not the time to start losing yourself! Remember the words pervy sage has told us! Told you! _We’re going to get them (Y/N), **I promise**._” Naruto looked over to you with soft eyes, pleading even

You looked at him and knew he was right. This was not the time for you to not be level headed. You needed to be calm right now, and running away and going off on your own from the people who care for you the most isn’t going to help, especially in a time like this. Right now you have to keep your anger at bay and not let it overcome you. You know this, but it hurts. _It all hurts_. You looked away from Naruto and started to slow down and get back besides Kakashi sensei and Sakura. You didn’t know what to say. All you did was nod. You didn’t say anything for the rest of the time while you guys headed to your spot. 

Once you we’re there, you all decided to set up your spots where you would be waiting. Kakashi sensei went up in the trees while you, Sakura and Naruto hid in the bushes. Kakashi would give you three a signal if he sees anyone. Guy sensei came over the mic and asked us if we saw anything yet. Team Asuma said no and so did you guys. But as soon as you guys said no, Kakashi sensei gave you three the signal that someone was coming. You looked up and saw a person in a all black with a hood coming across the open field that was in front of you guys. You pulled out your kunai and felt your devils chakra come through again. Your eyes changed to the bright red, and felt your teeth and nails become sharper again. You felt your anger come full force again and you couldn’t control yourself. **_This is it_**. You looked up one more time and saw they were a little bit closer. You couldn’t wait anymore. You felt your body move before you could grasp on what you we’re doing.

“ ** _(Y/N) no!_** ”’ Kakashi yelled out to you

All of a sudden you we’re running towards the person in the field with your kunai knife out. You made it to them in a second with how fast you moved. You felt your devils chakra burning in your chest. As soon as you got to them, you quickly put your knife to their neck and stopped. 

“ _ **(Y/N) stop!**_ ” You heard Sakura yell from across the field, you looked back to them and quickly looked back to the person in the black hood

“ _Who are you and where are you coming from! **Speak now!**_ ” You yelled at them with your anger seething through you and slightly pressed your knife more into their neck

You heard a deep laugh coming from them

“ _Oh child, don’t you know how to greet a stranger?_ ” They spoke and before you could do anything, they grabbed your arm and threw you across the field and they threw you so hard you went through two trees 

“(Y/N)!” Naruto yelled out to you and ran towards you but before he got to you, you instantly got back up and ran towards the person in the hood again

You felt your devils chakra pulse through you, it was in a frenzy. You jumped in the air while cracking the ground underneath you. You had two kunai knives in each hand now. You we’re going to try and punch them with it, but you saw the hooded person raise their hand and quickly saw a huge ball of fire coming towards you. 

You crossed your arms to cover your face, the fire had hit you and sent you back flying again; your body fell to the ground and slid across and went through a tree once more. 

Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto ran towards you quickly. Kakashi sensei and Naruto stood in a front you and Sakura while she helped you sit up. 

“(Y/N) what are you doing! You’re never like this! _What do you think you’re doing!_ ” Sakura yelled with concern while helping you stand

“ ** _Sakura I’m fine-!_** ” You winced in pain and fell to your knees, you looked down at your arms and felt them stinging, the long sleeves of your shirt we’re burned off; your forearms we’re bleeding and looked like your skin was melting off your body 

“(Y/N)! Your arms! Let me heal you!” Sakura kneeled besides you, she put her hands over your arms and started to heal you, she managed to stop the stinging and bleeding and you both looked back up at the hooded person again, they we’re starting to walk forward and you all got back into a fighting stance

The person in the hood laughed menacingly

“Your healing won’t help them for long little girl, as soon as my flames hits anything in its path it disintegrates _immediately_.”

“So you’re the one going around burning down other villages! You also must be the one who killed the clan back then too!” You yelled at them, you started to walk forward but Kakashi sensei put his hand out in front of you so you would stop

“ _Oh? Observant, aren’t we little one? You even know about my past.. Interesting.. I was just about to make a small visit to the leaf village to get something.. **Interesting**.._” They tilted their head enough and you saw the evil grin 

“ ** _I KNOW BECAUSE IT WAS MY CLAN! AND YOU WILL NOT! I WILL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU DO! YOUR JOURNEY ENDS HERE!_** ” Your voice was laced with venom, it sounded like you we’re growling. It was taking everything in you to not leave your spot and go at them. You wanted blood, Kakashi and Naruto sensed it. At this point Naruto even put his arm out in front of you. You screamed out once more at the person in the hood

“ ** _WHO ARE YOU! ANSWER ME NOW!_** ”

You all watched them reach for their hood slowly. They looked up and pulled down their hood to revile themselves. 

_Silence_. 

You fell to your knees. 

_Shock_.

“ ** _no_**...”

_Memories_. 

_Anger_.

_Sadness_.

_Emptiness_.

You we’re shaking. Tears flowing out of your eyes. 

“ _..it can’t be you... **father**.._” you spoke softly as you stared at him with the evil smirk he had on

You felt numb. 

You couldn’t believe it was your father. You couldn’t believe he was alive. You couldn’t believe he would do all of this. The kind and sweet man you remember him as was gone. 

Kakashi knew who it was immediately, while Naruto and Sakura we’re confused. But once you called him father, Sakura and Naruto caught on immediately. They we’re all shocked. Kakashi gave a signal to Sakura to let the others know to come to them for backup, which she did immediately.

“So it is you, _(Y/N)_? I didn’t recognize you because of the mask. You’ve grown up since I last saw you.” Your father laughed and added

“ _What’s with the tears? Aren’t you supposed to come and hug me? **Awe, what a shame**_.”

“Why did you kill your clan? Why are you destroying other villages?” Kakashi spoke loudly 

“Ah, Kakashi. It’s good to see you too... I made a certain deal with someone back then to help me achieve my true strength, and once I finally did; I would destroy everything they wanted to disappear. They showed me I didn’t need that stupid clan or the village. _You should know them, the leaf is **very** familiar with them from what I heard.._” Your father laughed more and smiled 

“...its Orochimaru.. _isn’t it_?” You said numbly 

“It is indeed. I was making my way to the leaf to get you, he wants to use your power (Y/N) and you **_will_** give me it. So how about we make things easy and you be a good little child and come with me. We can talk about everything, _just like good old days_.” Your fathers evil grin only got bigger 

“ ** _There’s no way you’re taking (Y/N)! You’ll have to get through us first_**!” Naruto yelled at him

“Oh really? _Why are you protecting that thing_? **_They’re only a monster_**. They are nothing _but_ a monster. They inherited a power that is only meant for being evil. I can awaken even **_more_** power from you and break the seal. All it is right now is weak. _All you are is a fake_. _I mean just look at it; **pathetic**_. I will take what’s mine, and if you wanna stand in my way, **_I’ll kill you_**.” Your father spoke confidently while still holding a evil grin 

This is where you snapped. He wasn’t going to touch them. He wasn’t going to hurt your family. 

You looked back up at your father

“ _I may be a monster, but at least I’m not **heartless**. I would **never** betray my comrades to go with scum like you. You killed everyone. You killed my friends... you killed our family.. you killed mother.. and for what? Power? **The only one that’s pathetic here is you.**_ “ You stood back up slowly, your devils cloak was coming through and walked in front of Kakashi sensei and Naruto

“ _I haven’t even gotten started yet... I’ll show you a real devil and I’ll make sure it’s the last thing **YOU SEE!** **YOU WONT TOUCH MY FAMILY OR THE VILLAGE! ILL KILL YOU!**_ ” Your devils chakra cloak was in full effect and forming around your body, the horns on the top of your head was slowly starting to grow

“ _Awe, isn’t that sweet. You think you’re going to actually kill me. **That’s no way to talk to your father.**_ ” He tilted his head and gave a small laugh

“ ** _YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER! YOU ARE NOT THE MAN YOU USED TO BE! THE PAPA I KNEW WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS! WHATEVER OROCHIMARU DID TO YOU, WHATEVER HE PUT IN YOU; ILL BEAT IT OUT OF YOU!_** ” You screamed and ran at him and started to throw punches at him but he was dodging each one you threw at him

You both we’re fast, but he seemed faster with the way he was dodging 

You pulled out a kunai knife and saw a opening to stab his chest, but he saw and pulled out a katana from behind him

You backed up immediately but he was on your tail and somehow managed to cut your face and cut your shoulder

You saw him move his katana again but you quickly blocked his attack with your kunai, you both looked at each other and saw his evil grin

You both backed away and stared each other down 

“So you have gotten stronger haven’t you? _Guess I should take this seriously then, hm?_ ” Your father did quick hand signs and you looked at your fathers katana, and it was engulfed with his flames 

He came at you with an alarming speed, but you jumped out the way before he could cut you

But he came from behind you and sliced your back and kicked you forward into a boulder 

You recovered quickly, and ran back at him.

Because of your devils cloak, you didn’t feel any pain while using it, your cloak works exactly like how Naruto’s nine tails cloak works. Even though you might not feel any pain, the cloak itself is actually hurting your body too.

But during this you could feel your horns getting bigger and bigger, you felt the devils cloak start to take over a bit but you we’re doing your best to control. You went back in and continued to fight him.

“Kakashi sensei we don’t have enough time, (Y/N) horns are starting to get bigger! We have to stop (Y/N) or they won’t be able to control themselves!” Naruto exclaimed worriedly

“I know Naruto, but we can’t go in and fight right now. Its too dangerous. We have to wait till everyone gets here. (Y/N) is fine, I know they’re keeping themselves in check and not letting it get out of control.” Kakashi spoke calmly and looked over and spoke once more

“Sakura, are they almost here yet?”

“Team Guy and Asuma should be here anytime now! I talked to them ten minutes ago, they should be close.” Sakura said

“Okay. Once they get here we’ll come up with a plan, all we can do right now is be on standby for (Y/N).” Kakashi spoke and Naurto and Sakura both nodded

But as soon as he finished, they heard a scream coming from you, it sounded _inhuman_

They looked over to you and saw your fathers katana was through your stomach 

“ _Your fast but you’re not faster than me little one! You can barely get a hit on me! What happened to all of that big talk about killing me huh? **You really are weak!**_ ” Your father laughed while you we’re trying to pull the burning sword out of you and get off of it

“ _(Y/N)!_ ” Naruto screamed for you and started to run towards your father, he wanted to help you right now, there’s no way he can just wait and watch

As Naruto was running to him, midway he made shadow clones and all of them jumped up and went to try and punch your father, but he sent off a blast out of his other hand and they all disappeared 

Then your father moved his sword harshly and you flew off of it but Naruto caught you in midair and set you down on the grass

Kakashi and Sakura tried to head to the both of you but a huge blast from your father was sent their way making them back up even more 

“ _Sakura I’m gonna go after him! Stay behind me and once I give you the signal head to Naruto and (Y/N) immediately!_ ” Kakashi spoke loudly and Sakura nodded 

Kakashi made a clone which ran out to your father, while Kakashi went around him

Your father blasted his clone away and that’s when Kakashi gave the signal to Sakura

Kakashi kicked your father to the ground and then they both started to fight each other 

Sakura got to Naruto who was kneeling besides you, you we’re knocked out but your cloak was still surrounded over you

You we’re covered in blood. You had cuts and gashes everywhere on your body. Your clothes were ripped and your mask was gone.

Sakura was about to heal you, but you woke back up and stood 

“(Y/N) you _need_ to let Sakura heal you!” Naruto grabbed you so you wouldn’t fall over

Sakura was trying to talk to you but you couldn’t hear anything, all you heard was a loud ringing noise from your ears 

You felt like you we’re in a daze and not in your own body

But you looked up and saw Kakashi fighting your father

Your father was moving his sword fast and he was about to stab Kakashi in the chest

You felt your horns grow bigger and ran towards them and in a second you we’re in between Kakashi and your father

You stopped your fathers katana with your hands; the sword had gone through your hand but you grabbed it tight with the other and it broke into a million pieces making it shader 

Kakashi looked down to you, he was shocked you got it in time

“ ** _Don’t you dare hurt my family_** ” You spoke with gritted teeth, your voice didn’t sound like yours anymore and your horns we’re starting to curl, and your red eyes only got brighter 

_ You we’re losing control of your devil _

Kakashi eyes widened and he knew he was too late

You kicked your father in the chest and sent him flying, he went through a tree

You caught him off guard 

He slowly stood back up with eyes on you

You walked forward, stopped and tilted your head at him and spoke numbly 

“ ** _Now who’s weak, huh?_** ” 

Team Guy and Team Asuma and came over to Sakura and Naruto, they both explained to them all that has happened 

“So you’re telling me thats (Y/N)?!” Ino looked over at Naruto and Sakura with wide eyes

“I’ve never seen so much chakra come from one person before, especially one as intense and blood thirsty as (Y/N)s. I could of sense it from a mile away.” Neji added

“Yeah but their devils cloak has come through and (Y/N)’s horns are starting to curl, and its not a good sign. (Y/N)’s devils cloak works exactly like mine. I’ve only ever seen their horns full curl one time when we we’re training with pervy sage, and it was terrifying. They’re going to reach full curl soon, and we _have_ to stop them.” Naruto spoke firmly 

“So not only do we have to try and capture that guy, but we also have to get an actual devil that is (Y/N) right now? Man, this is such a drag.” Shikamaru sighed and rubbed his eyes together 

“I will be the one to try and get (Y/N), you all focus on getting him. I know it’s a sticky situation with (Y/N) constantly going after him and their cloak, but I am counting on you to come up with a plan Shikamaru. All of you remember to stay on your toes, especially with this guy, he is very fast and strong; don’t let him out of your sights for a second.” Kakashi looked over to Shikamaru and nodded

You we’re still in the spot you we’re standing and giving a glare to your father. Your horns are coming very close to being at full curl, you can feel it. He walked towards you and spoke 

“You remind me so much of your mother. **_You look just like her._** ” 

“ ** _Shut up. You have no right to speak of her!_** ” Your voice didn’t sound like yours anymore, it was deeper. You had your arms out ready to lunge yourself at him if gets any closer. 

“ _Your right. I shouldn’t speak of someone so.. worthless. She deserved to be dead. **You should’ve saw the look she gave me when I killed her that night-**_ “ You cut him off and screamed at him

“ _You piece of shit! **SHUT UP!**_ ”

Your devils chakra was pulsing through you, you felt it burning through your body. It was too much, it was all too much. You cannot believe your father was saying these awful things. This isn’t him, he’s changed and he was never like this. _You can’t control it any longer. You can’t control yourself._

**_Anger_**.

_**Blood**_.

**_Kill_**.

You fell to your hands and knees. Your horns we’re turning to full curl now. You felt like you _couldn’t_ breathe. Your skin was turning red and your devils cloak got _bigger_. _Your body wasn’t your own anymore. Your voice wasn’t your own. Your movements wasn’t your own. **It’s taking over**._

Suddenly you heard someone coming behind you and without hesitation you lunged at them and landed on top of them. You tried to claw at them with your sharp nails but they grabbed both of your wrists tightly.

You looked down growling at whoever stopped you.

**_Kakashi sensei_**.

You stared at him and saw his eyes. He almost looked terrified. You started to use whatever strength you had left to stop the formation.

“ _Ka-Kakashi sensei.. y-you have t-t-to get out of h-here now.. I-I d-don’t have much strength l-left t-to stop the formation.. P-Please save yourself... g-get everyone out of h-here n-now! **I-I don’t want to h-hurt you g-guys! Please!**_ ” You managed to speak with the little strength you still had while trying to hold back while your skin is slowly turning red and nails getting sharper 

Kakashi saw the pain in your eyes and the pleading cry from you, and for a moment he was lost on what to do

Until a tear drop fell on his face and looked back up at you

“ ** _K-Kakashi s-sensei go! I-I’m begging you! Please!_** ” You looked at him with teary eyes and screamed at him

[back at the village]

Tsunade was going over the mission she had sent you guys on and she kept having this bad feeling ever since you all left. Something was off but she couldn’t explain it. Tsunade is not a woman that would let this sort of thing bother her, she’s sent you all on countless missions, even ones where they we’re dangerous, she cannot figure out why this one is different. _Why did it feel **off**? Why did she feel this way? Why does she have this **terrible** feeling in her chest?_ Whatever it was she needed to send out another team right away. She knew she could just be overreacting, **_but something did not feel right._**

“Lady Tsunade, whats wrong? Are you feeling okay?” Shizune looked up from her seat with concern 

“ _Shizune I need you to bring Yamato to me right away. I’ll be sending him out on this mission with a medical team and members from the anbu black ops for back up. Something is off about about these files, and **I don’t have a good feeling about any of this**_.” Tsunade spoke urgently and Shizune nodded and left the room to find Yamato

**_Something bad is happening_**.


	3. Empty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) goes on a mission that potentially comes face to face with the people that killed their clan.. but what if something goes wrong? What will happen when they discover the truth?
> 
> How will they manage to handle it and go through it? How will their friends and sensei help them?
> 
> Read to find out~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i hope you like chapter three! and I’m so sorry if this shorter than the last one i promise to make chapter four longer!
> 
> thank you for reading! :)

[back to the fight]

Kakashi was still managing to hold you back while you we’re on top of him. He had a plan. 

“ _Shikamaru_!”

“ _I’m already on it!_ ” Shikamaru was going to use his shadow possession jitsu on you to try and hold you back

He got you right away with it and it slowly stood you up, making you get off of Kakashi sensei 

Your devil was trying to force its way out of it, making you thrash your body around but he had you in a tight hold

“ _Kakashi sensei I cant keep this up for too long! **(Y/N) is only getting stronger!**_ ” Shikamaru yelled out to him in a panic

Your father let out a evil laugh and ran straight to you and Kakashi but luckily Naruto and Lee got infront of you both in time and started to fight him following up with Asuma sensei and Guy sensei coming from either side of them, and then everyone else followed and went in to fight him

Kakashi quickly saw this as a opportunity to pull out the paper Jiraiya gave him for you and Naruto incase you both get out of control 

He was **_so_** close.

**_But too late_**.

As everyone was closing in on your father to attack, he made a massive ball of fire with both of his hands and threw it at everyone coming his way. No one was able to move out of the way in time. It was like an explosion had happened. There was a huge flash of white, and you managed to get out of Shikamarus hold to cross your arms in front of your face. Everyone was blown away from the impact of your fathers attack, even you.

The grassy field with trees that once surrounded you was destroyed. It looked like a meteor had fallen out of the sky and created a massive crater. You we’re laying on the dirt and made yourself stand up. Dirt was floating through the air and rocks falling on the ground with the smell of burning wood in the air. You looked around and saw your teammates scattered around you laying face down, some trying to stand back up and fight. This is when you we’re brought back to what was happening. It was like your mind was on autopilot and it flipped a switch in you to come back.

_ Your friends. Your family. **Hurt**.  _

You realized what just happened. 

He hurt them. Your father hurt them.

As the dust was starting to clear more, you saw a black figure walking towards you. It was him.

“ ** _So where’s that passion now (Y/N)? What happened to all of that big talk little one, hm?_** ” Your father spoke teasingly with evil eyes staring at you

“ ** _This has gone on for long enough... This ends NOW!_** ” Screaming with fury

**_Memories_**. 

This is it.

You didn’t want to do this.

You _never_ thought it would turn out like this.

_ You wish you could go back in time and fix the past... **fix** your father... **stop** whatever happened that night... and **stop** whatever Orochimaru did to him.. _

**_Anger_**.

Your devils chakra burning through you, it was in a _frenzy_ you could feel it all the way in your throat. Your skin turning red. Your cloak still around you. You made quick hand signs to make the chidori Kakashi taught you. You made the blue lightning ball in your hand as big as you possibly could. Your father was making a fire ball in his hands getting ready to attack as well.

“ ** _CHIDORI_**!”

You screamed out as your father and you started running towards each other, the ground breaking underneath you both with the force from your running and chidori in your hand. The only noise you heard was the screeching sound from the chidori. 

You both looked at each other’s eyes as you we’re reaching each other. It felt like the world stopped and it was just you and him, frozen in time. _A moment_. You closed your eyes. 

_This is it_.

_**Silence**_.

It was quick and everything suddenly stopped. 

Your arm was through the middle of his chest. Your chidori had hit him, making this hit fatal. You looked at him with wide eyes, letting everything finally sink in as your cloak faded away and the adrenaline coming to a stop.

He looked at you _shocked_. His eyes looking at yours, it felt like he was looking through you.

Purple smoke leaked out from his body. Which caused him to fall to his knees, causing you to do the same with him. He groaned in pain as you looked at him with pure concern and confusion. Soon the purple smoke disappeared and he looked at you with teary eyes.

“ _ **(Y/N** **)**... **y-you’re alive?**_ ” He spoke weakly

You we’re in shock and could not process what was happening but spoke softly 

“ ** _papa_**..” 

“ _thank you for saving me from orochimaru.. i-i can’t make up for the things I’ve said or what i may or may not h-have done to you or the people I’ve k-killed and for all the t-time we lost.. i don’t expect to be forgiven... but i love y-you.. and i-_ “ Your father coughed

up blood 

You pulled your arm out of his chest and laid him down in a panic

“ _Papa! I’m so sorry! Whatever Orochimaru did to you or put in you I-I - **I’ll get him back!** I’ll find away! I’ll find away to save you papa! **Please just stay with me!** I’m just getting you back to me! Please don’t leave me again! Please!_” You exclaimed, frantically grabbing on to him like your life depended on it, trying to figure out to save him with tears rushing from your eyes

“ _(Y/N) it is too late for me.. o-orochimaru had put something in me a long time ago and it took over.. **i thought about you everyday**.. do not apologize sweetheart.. this was the **only** way you could’ve stopped me, you did what was needed to be done.. you’ve become so strong.. im so happy i got to see you... thank you for saving me my love.. **i-i am s-so proud of y-you**.._” He looked at you with a big genuine smile, the one you remembered 

_ This can’t be happening  _

He put his hand on your face and tried to wipe away the tears rolling down your cheeks

“ ** _Papa please don’t leave me! PLEASE DONT GO!_** ” You sat him up and hugged him while sobbing harder into his shoulder 

“ ** _I-I lo-love y-you (Y/N).. I-I always will.._** ” He whispered softly 

You pulled away to look back at him

He smiled one last time and you saw the color in his eyes dull as he faded away

**_ Emptiness  _ **

_It felt like the world had stopped_.

“ ** _PAPA PLEASE STAY WITH ME!_** ” 

You sobbed hard and screamed over and over again at the top your lungs, holding on to your father as tight as you could, hoping he would come back but you knew... _he was gone_

_ No words could describe how much **pain** you felt. No words could describe the pure **sadness** you felt. _

The bright sun that was once out vanished and it started pouring rain.

You kept sobbing and screaming for him. Wishing the rain could wash all of this away.

You didn’t expect anything like this to happen. _You never thought you would ever have to kill your own father_.

Kakashi finally managed to stand up from where he was laying down. He was the closest to you.

_He saw everything_. 

**_He heard everything_**. 

He looked over to you and heard your loud cries. Everyone else was starting to slowly stand or help others up. Almost everyone saw what happened. Your friends saw you holding on to him in your arms. They heard your pleading cries. But kept their distance from you to let you grieve in peace. They might not know what you’re going through.. but they can feel your _sorrow_ from the screams that escaped your mouth.

You we’re rocking back and fourth with your father in your arms still holding him tight. Loud sobs racking your body. 

Soft footsteps we’re coming up behind you and stoped. 

Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto stood behind you. They knew nothing they could say right now would make you feel any better. Your father is dead, in your arms. _No words could ever take this pain away or make it okay_. 

Kakashi walked forward and kneeled besides you putting a firm hand on your shoulder. You didn’t need to look up to know it was him, this is his way of saying _I’m here_ without speaking a word to you. 

Soon Yamato arrived with the medical team.The medical team went around checking on everyone. Yamato and the three members from anbu came over straight to you. You we’re still sobbing, but you slowly had gone quite. _You felt numb_. You completely zoned out. You we’re in _shock_.

They tried to ask you questions, but Kakashi was answering them for you instead because of the state you we’re in. After asking the questions they needed about what happened, Yamato and Kakashi exchanged quick looks at each other then back to you.

Yamato kneeled down in front of you so you could see him better.

“ _(Y/N)... we need to take your father now, okay?_ ” Yamato made sure his voice was soft so he wouldn’t startle you 

You slowly looked at Yamato, you looked up to the anbu members who we’re standing behind Yamato and then turned your head to face Kakashi and he spoke quietly 

“ _It’s time to say goodbye, (Y/N)._ ”

You nodded numbly and laid your father down with the help of Kakashi and Yamato 

You looked at your father one more time and looked down to the massive hole in the middle of his chest

You closed your eyes and looked down away from Yamato and Kakashi 

“ ** _I.. am so sorry papa_** ” You whispered numbly saying your final goodbye 

Loud sobbing picked up from you again, Kakashi quickly pulled you into his chest and held you

Kakashi gave them the okay to take him away

Soon the medical team came over to you four but Sakura and Naruto quickly dismissed them

They asked Kakashi if they could look over you right now but he denied them, that was the _last_ thing you needed right now was for people to be in your face and ask more questions or examine you, that can wait right now

Kakashi picked you up and carried you on his back, he knew you would not be able to stand, let alone walk or do anything right now. 

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and hid your face away from everyone. 

Kakashi went around to make sure everyone was ready to go home.

Everyone started to head back to the village and no one said a word to each other. 

Almost everyone was injured in someway, but your in the _worst_ shape out of everyone right now because of what happened. Your clothes we’re torn, you have huge cuts, gashes and burns all over you, and you we’re _covered_ from head to toe in blood. You we’re in extreme pain right now, but you ignored it because of how numb you felt. 

On the way back home you had blacked out while Kakashi was carrying you.

Soon everyone arrived home and headed straight to the hospital. Lady Tsunade had got word of you all arriving home and as soon as she did she headed to the hospital. You we’re in the emergency room which she got there immediately and started to heal you. 

Almost _all_ of your ribs we’re broken, not only did you have cuts and gashes all over your body you also had burns throughout too. Your right leg was broken, your left arm was broken and your right hand was broken too. Then you now have a cut by your eye like Kakashis now. She wasn’t sure if you would pull through because of all the damage that was done to your body, but she made sure you would no matter what and you did. After she was done healing you, the nurses helped her bandage you up and sent you to a room.

Kakashi soon appeared with Jiraiya and told both of them what happened during this mission and they we’re both shocked to find out that it was your father doing this. Kakashi told them about how he died, a purple smoke came out of his body and he didn’t seem to really remember what he did only a little bit, and told them what your father said that Orochimaru had put something in him and it took over. He also told him that your father was coming to the village to get you because Orochimaru wanted your power. Tsunade and Jiraiya we’re shocked. And this makes sense to Tsunade now because the files she had about your clans fire, some things were blacked out and your father was the one who held on to your clans files. They we’re waiting outside of your room when the nurses finally came out and told them it was okay for them to go in. 

They all walked in the room and Tsunade explained all of the damage that was done to your body.

“It’s going to be a while before they can leave the hospital, but (Y/N) will be okay.” Tsunade spoke reassuringly 

Tsunade had to leave the room to go and check up on everyone else to see who needed to be healed next while Jiraiya and Kakashi stayed in the room with you

“ _So.. (Y/N) really did it huh_ ” Jiraiya spoke

“ _Yeah.. This is going to be a really **long** recovery for them.._” Kakashi said quietly and Jiraiya nodded 

It was going to be a while before you woke up, but Jiraiya and Kakashi just stayed with you. They both knew that you would panic if you woke up and no one was here, or you would try and leave without telling anyone. Jiraiya and Kakashi stayed silent so they wouldn’t disturb you. It was about an hour or two later they heard you move your body a little bit and looked over to you.

You we’re starting to wake up. You opened your tired eyes and tried to sit up, but you felt someone push you back down softly. 

“ _(Y/N) don’t sit up right now. **You need to rest**._”

You turned your head and saw it was Jiraiya, he gave you a soft smile 

You turned your head over and saw Kakashi sitting right beside your bed and then looked straight forward 

You saw all the bandages that we’re covering you, with a cast on your arm and hand

You could also feel the bandages on your face and ribs, and could hear the soft beeps coming from the monitor right next to you

“..whe-where is everyone.. i-i have to make sure they’re okay..” You spoke quietly 

“Everyone is perfectly fine. Lady Tsunade is healing them right now.” Kakashi said reassuringly 

“ ** _Master Jiraiya.. Kakashi sensei..._** ”

They both looked towards you

“ _What is it (Y/N)?_ ” Jiraiya said softly and both came a little closer to you to hear you

“ _I..I am so sorry.._ “ You spoke weakly while remembering what happened earlier, what you did

“ _You did what had to be done (Y/N)... **You have nothing to be sorry about-**_ “

“ _ **No**! Just because it’s what had to be done doesn’t make it okay! **At all**! I killed my own father and I didn’t even get the **CHANCE** to save him! **I have everything to be sorry about!**_ ” A yell came out of you as you cut off Kakashi 

“ _I just..- **Fuck**!_” Your voice cracked and felt the lump in your throat form

Your trying to keep your tears at bay, you didn’t want to cry. You closed your eyes and faced down at your hands.

“ ** _(Y/N)_** -“

“ ** _I just.. I need to be alone right now... please g-go.._** ”

They both looked at you stunned. They wanted to help and say something, but they respected your wish for them to leave. Jiraiya and Kakashi exchanged quick looks and decided to leave the room. 

Kakashi was the last to leave the room but before he did he paused before walking out and spoke.

“ _If you need me, I’ll be right outside the door._ ” 

And with that, they we’re gone. You let your tears finally flow down your face and cried in silence. You remembered everything. Everything that happened in that moment and how it felt. _Emptiness_. _Regret_. **_Pain_**.

_ How am I going to **live** with myself? _

_ What’s going happen **now**? _

You sat alone in the hospital thinking about everything. You simply felt numb. For hours you laid there alone staring at the ceiling and hearing the soft ticks from the clock on the wall. _Silence_.

_I deserve to be dead too_. **_I want to die_**.

You felt yourself getting tired and drifted off to sleep. Hoping to wake up the next day and finding out that this was just a dream.. **_a nightmare_**..


	4. UPDATE

Hey everyone!

I am so sorry I haven’t posted chapter four yet, I haven’t had the best motivation to work on anything these past couple of months but I have been working on chapter four!

I am still not sure when it’s gonna be posted/done but I will keep you guys updated! Again, thank you all so much for reading and I hope you guys are doing great!✨

Reminder to drink some water, eat something and make sure to gets lots of rest, okay?

-ghost


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